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The Brexit Pantomime

January 15, 2019 4:33 PM
By Robert Court

Observing the Brexit saga unfolding in Parliament, you might have thought that it seems almost like a pantomime. Here is an outline of the plot…

The Country has voted to Take Back Control and become a Brexit Island. The Blue Queen has tried to implement the Country's decision. But many of the Blue Princes and Princesses are unhappy with the Blue Queen's plan and are in open revolt against her, because they say we would not be a True Island. The problem is that everyone somehow forgot that if the Country has a Land Border, it cannot be an Island. So how can you have a Land Border with no Border Controls, while at the same time Taking Back Control? The Blue Princes expect the Blue Queen to come up with a solution, but what is their Plan? After over two years of deep thought, they have no Plan. Meanwhile the patience of Blue supporters wears thin, especially because many of the Blue Princes like Davis, Boris and Moggis are devoting most of their energies to plotting to depose the Blue Queen and replace her.

The Reds are sworn enemies of the Blues. Yet surprisingly the Red King has allied himself with the Blue Princes, but he wants a fantasy Brexit Island. He says that he wishes to be King of the Island himself, but he carefully avoids any chance of having to take any blame for things going wrong. Most of the Red Princes and Princesses in fact disagree with him and believe that Brexit Island is a bad idea. The patience of Red supporters is also wearing thin, as the Red King dithers while using many words to say nothing. He too has no Plan. Like his friends the Blue Princes, he seems to care more about himself than the Country.

Meanwhile the band of Orange Outlaws don't want the Country to become a Brexit Island at all. The Orange Captain thinks the Country should vote again because the Blues cannot sort out the Mess they have made. When the Country voted to become a Brexit Island, no-one thought it would be like this. Amongst Red and Blue supporters, despair and disillusion reign. "Is it time for us to join the Orange Outlaw band?", they ask themselves.

While all this is happening, the Country is not being governed at all. People are suffering and problems are piling up for the future, so that the Mess is becoming ever more horrendous.

Will the curtain come down as the Earthquake called No-Deal strikes and all goes to Rack and Ruin? Or somehow will the pantomime, like all good pantomimes, have a happy ending? That remains to be seen.